As a Bride – Let Me Tell You About Keeping Your Cool (When Things Inevitably Go Wrong)

May 13, 2015

This advice comes from Joyce, whom I absolutely adore (and who will be a reoccurring contributor)! If you would like to share some advice, please send me an email at emily [at] theganeys [dot] com!

This isn’t a cynical, *harumph* type of warning– this is a simple fact of life in general. Someone you invited will probably make an unintentionally hurtful comment, or Aunt Betty will raise a stink because you didn’t want to invite her to dress fittings. It can be catastrophic or minor, but it will be something that stresses you out a bit during the planning process. Granted, feeling that stress and being upset is okay! A couple tears or a freak out is okay once in a while, but this blog is meant to help you navigate or even completely avoid the potential storm(s). Feelings are okay so long as they don’t completely overwhelm everything else.

It’s vital that you keep a level head during these stresses. This will be a life lesson as well as a “how to not be a Bridezilla” lesson. First things first, “perfection” is relative. While you imagine a “perfect wedding” one way, everyone imagines a different “perfect” wedding, and some will be louder about their opinions than others. People will judge things from your flowers, colors, dresses, to every other minutiae of detail. Perfect needs to be perfect for yourself and your soon to be husband. The bottom line is to keep calm and carry on.

As Emily mentioned before, priorities, priorities, priorities. The reason for ONLY 3 is to help serve as an anchor in your budget AND in your sanity. Even if you get 9000+ opinions on what should be important, the wedding will end up being about you (and your partner of course) so long as you stick to your guns. This also helps to keep everything in perspective and not get completely overwhelmed in case your makeup runs a little or your flowers get mixed up. If these things aren’t in your top 3, then don’t sweat too hard. If they are, put the extra effort into triple and quadruple checking so you can sleep easier.

Perspective is also a healthy thing to have. While your wedding day may be the most important thing to you, it may not be the same to your bridal party, family, or friends. People have their own lives to live and top 3 priorities as well. Try to keep an open mind when someone says that they can’t make your engagement party or brings a plus 1 without asking: does your friend have a previous engagement? Does the +1er not know anyone else in attendance at the wedding? Try to not completely chew someone out when they can’t do or see things 100% your way because you can’t control everyone else’s life simply for your wedding day. Call this callous, but it is just one day. Ideally, your wedding day should be the beginning of a new piece within an ongoing dynamic relationship that you have with your partner; don’t let one day dictate the rest of your lives in relation to each other or the bridges you may have accidentally burned when caught up in wedding planning.

Remember, at the end of the day, the ultimate perfection is the person standing across from you, agreeing to spending the rest of your lives together. As long as he’s the right one, the “wedding” event is just details to celebrate your public declaration of love. So sit back, breathe a little, and let the pieces fall where they may. You’ll still be married to your best friend in the end.

Staying calm as a bride